Saturday, April 26, 2008
decisions, decisions
So, I find myself in the midst of a crossroads. I seem to be caught in the middle of motherhood and career. Though I enjoy being home during the day with the kids, my career still remains a big part of me. I am finding my life to be filled with guilt right now. Not to whine, but there is guilt for leaving the kids and on the other hand, guilt for not contributing to the family finances. The scheduling conflict is becoming a big pain in the neck. I enjoy my job and LOVE the patients. It is so nice to go to work and make a difference that actually impacts someone's life. I have seen so much suffering, but so much triumph as well. I am always amazed at the human spirit. Anyway, so here in lies my dilemma. Do I stay or do I go??? I guess time will tell.
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Dang friend, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Here is what I think, take it for what it's woth, Don't ever feel like you don't contribute, when you are home you make a diffrence in your kid's lifes. I know you don't see it know, but how awsome would it have been for your mom to be home and help with your school stuff and go on field trips. You are a GREAT mom, your kids love you, Trevor loves you! You are an AWSOME friend! And an AMAZING nurse. good luck and don't forget that we love you at the Pace house!!!
Wow Jen, that really is a rough one..and seeing as I don't have this problem at the moment I don't think I'm really the right person to give advice. But I definitely agree w/ your friend, the Pace Family, on the not feeling like you don't contribute when you're at home. You are an amazing mother..I really admire you SO much! And that is the ultimate job..people just don't realize it until they've actually 'walked in a mom's shoes'. Just so ya know, and not to pressure you, I would miss ya so much if you left E8..but I would totally understand! Oh, btw..I posted a new blog...just for you! Love ya!
Oh sweetie...:) I know it's so hard being a mom and trying to add to that financial part of your lives. I feel guilty all the time when I'm here at work or at school away from Kameron...BUT for me, and what makes me be at peace with myself and my life is that I know education is important and having something...an outlet for me to go to and be me, cheryl the mom but also cheryl the nurse, the woman, the girlfriend...it makes me a better person and a better mom to know that I have that "creative" vent for me to have a career and be a mom as well... in addition- teach my kids that its important to have that. I'm in no way bagging on stay at home moms. I wish I could do that, but staying at home all day being with my kids-I would go crazy. I'm not a work-aholic...I would rather just work one day a week and be with my kids the rest of the time...But the fact that I have my time to be a professional and then go home and be mom feels good to me.
I love you...your children love you. You are an awesome mom, who is a great nurse and you connect with patients in a way that people wish they could connect on. You have a gift:) Don't feel bad that you love your career and profession...All that is important when you mesh mom and career together is a great balance...IF you decide to keep the two together, that is what it takes (in the opinion of Cheryl). Do what you feel is right for you girlfriend...cus you and only you knows that.
On the pancake puff pan subject: I totally recommend it! They were way yummy :) There's this outlet store in Draper where they sell it cheap..ANYWHO, thanks for the encouragement on the house subject..it helps me keep a positive attitude when you guys are all so suportive :)
Hey sis....thanks for my post!!! Its perfect!!! So how much do I owe ya??? :) Hang in there! You're amazing! Love ya
Okay, I guess it's my turn to give you my two bits that may or may not be helpful...
First of all, I totally agree that your contributions to the family are not financial. You are the Mother. That is absolutely the biggest gift you could give your kids and your husband. Now unfortunately we don't all live in a world were are husbands are millionaires and so it does help for the wife to contribute to the finacial pot. If you don't feel overwhelmed doing it I do think it is a good out...ocasionally. I personally love my one day a week. Any more would kill me. And truth be told I would give it up but I feel like I can handle it, and I am helping with our finances. It's a fine line and every woman has to find it for ourselves. As for finding a way to be more than just a mom...I totally agree with that. However, it doesn't always have to be a job. I think of Elder Ballard's last conference talk. He said women have to find a way to fill our wells because we cannot draw water for our children in an empty well. Filling our well is different for everyone. In your case, you love being a nurse. Me, I have never been as enthusiastic as you. I get a little water from it but not tons. I am in the Young Womens in my ward...that is where I get my water. That I love. I leave my kids home and do something grwon up. Every woman needs something. You have to decided what fills your well. If it's work, then it's worth it. If it's not....find something else. If an activity takes us away from our children and does not make us a better mom, I don't think it's worth while. Good Luck! Whatever you do, you'll do wonderfully...you always do! Love ya!
Hey Jen, I can't quite say I know yet what you are going through to the full extent but already I wonder myself how I will be able to come back to work when I have a little baby at home, so I am sorry that you are going through this I am sure you will come up with the right decision but it sounds hard! SO I am sorry but know I am here if you ever need to talk or vent, oh and thanks for listening to my text venting the other day it was really helpful for me to be able to get that out so that I didnt explode again, being that I had already exploded on my husband!! And I think we are about due for a girls night out don't ya think?
Well, I agree with Tyra. You do contribute more than you know with the kiddos. I know some days it sure doesn't feel like we did anything because nearly everyone is in tears when daddy comes home...but we do. I hope you can do what you want to do and not feel guilty either way. We all need our outlets because talking to toddlers all day just isn't enough. :)
-O-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KIRA! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S 2!!! And Aliyah is right behind her.
That is hard. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I am unable to do that at this time. I am blessed that I only have to work twice a month and I have found that I enjoy work and I don't feel like a bad mom leaving my kids. It is nice having that adult conversation and being with friends and it helps financially. It sounds like the same thing everyone else has been saying, but you have to find what is right for you. If you enjoy working find the right amount of time that you feel like you can be away from the kids whether it's once a week, twice a month or what ever. I agree with Monica, find something that makes you happy and "fills your well". Good Luck with whatever you decide. It will be the right decision for you and your family even if it changes later.
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